what happened instead

So, I had my plan on how everything would work out, but several things happened.  First, I am supposed to be on progesterone for the first trimester and when I got here to Texas, I had no insurance.  I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing.  Then I realized that my insurance in AZ didn't end until the end of August.  So I called my Dr. and asked him to call me in a prescription.  Then I asked a friend in my old ward to pick it up and mail it to me.  She was so sweet and did it without asking any questions!  Then at around 7-8 weeks I started spotting.  I was a little concerned.  I have had 2 miscarriages, pretty far along (14 and 10 weeks).  At the same time, I spotted with all 4 kids and was fine.  I got a blessing.  It said many things that left me wondering if I would have the baby or not, but the key phrase that stuck out to me was 'either way, know that the Lord has chosen it for your good'.  I felt peace from that, but not confident that I would carry this baby full term.  I continued spotting for 6 or more weeks.  I didn't know how to feel and everything had become so crazy in our lives with work and where to live that I didn't have room for emotion about any of it.  Becki came, she didn't say anything, so I figured I was pulling off being fat really well.  Then I got super sick.  My mom kept calling and worrying that I might have an ectopic pregnancy and needed medical help.  Knowing that I was too far along for an ectopic pregnancy, I assured her there was no chance of that, but I still didn't tell her I was pregnant.  She kept offering to come out.  I kept telling her no, it's just the flu.  That was the first week.  Then I went to the hospital and they checked out the baby and I saw the heart beat.  It was finally real to me that I was pregnant and I got excited.  They told me it was the flu, but several days later I knew it was not.  Something was really wrong with me and I got really scared.  I felt like I had no way to get help.  I sat soaking the bath one day to try and relieve my aching body, thinking about everything and worrying about getting better.  It occurred to me that I might need to lose the baby to get better.  It didn't seem like my body could handle both jobs.  I cried a lot and then I remembered the words of my blessing and felt peace.  I told Ben that I didn't want to lose the baby, but I had finally given up my will and would accept whatever came.  Luckily, I never had to do that.  Eventually, it was decided that my mom would come.  I didn't want her to and I did at the same time.  I was afraid I would get better right when she got here and waste her time.  I was also bummed that she would find out I was pregnant and ruin my plan, but I was really sick and I wanted her comfort too.  By the time she got here I had lost 14lbs (not eating, plus puking and diarrhea for 2 weeks straight will to that), which made my stomach bump all the more obvious.  I couldn't believe it, she didn't say a word.  It wasn't until several hours after she arrived, when the kids were in bed, that she rubbed my tummy and said, "Honey, I am just so worried about you.  I've never seen your stomach so distended!".  I could help it!  I snorted and then laughed!  Her eyes got wide and she said, "You little jerk, your pregnant!".  Then she turned to Ben and said, "Did you know about this?".  Ben looked at her her like, 'Duh!' and she said, "You knew!  You knew and you didn't tell me!"  It was hilarious!  She immediately 'made' (Did you know that when you are sick, you feel like a little kid again and your mom can tell you what to do and make you do things?) me call Kelly and tell him.  Then when she was talking to my grandma, my grandma asked if I was pregnant.  My mom told her she 'wasn't privileged to give out that information', which is basically like saying yes.  My Grandma claims she already knew when I came to say goodbye before moving because she has ESP.  I love that woman!  Grandma called and told Sarah.  Sarah called and told me that Grandma told her I was pregnant.  So I told Becki, who said she already knew from when she was here, and Julia.  My mom told the Kurachi's while she was here and I was REALLY mad about that.  They said they already suspected, but didn't want to say anything until they knew for sure.  I put Ben in charge of telling his family while he was in AZ.  Danny had already been asking Ben for weeks if that was why I was sick and Ben kept telling him no because it wasn't why I was sick, but Danny still really thought that I was.  Anyhow, all that combined with the fact that we wouldn't be able to go visit after Christmas ruined my surprising the family and seeing the looks on their faces, but I did make it to about 16-18 weeks (can't remember exactly) before telling.  At that point, Ben said I should just tell everyone but I wouldn't.  I figured that if I couldn't surprise our families then we could at least surprise our friends.  It was fun!  It really helped the pregnancy go by faster.  We'll see how fast the next 5 weeks go...

Comments

[Stuart]

So that's pretty hilarious about your mom. How the heck are you guys? It's been too long. I miss you guys. I hope everything's going well with work, the pregnancy, jobs, the kids, etc. We love you guys. We're always praying for you.

Love, Stu, Deb n Hazel