Bowles Family

new blog

I started a new blog and imported this one into.  It is www.thebookofbowles.wordpress.com  I will leave this one up for a while.  Apparently, I have to re-upload all my photos or when I close this site, they will all disappear (plus they are all formatted weird on the new blog)  YAY!  Sounds like fun!  So, in the meantime change your links over to the new blog and I'll be blogging there! 

I also moved my recipe blog too, so that will be at  www.maggiesrecipes.wordpress.com

what happened instead

So, I had my plan on how everything would work out, but several things happened.  First, I am supposed to be on progesterone for the first trimester and when I got here to Texas, I had no insurance.  I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing.  Then I realized that my insurance in AZ didn't end until the end of August.  So I called my Dr. and asked him to call me in a prescription.  Then I asked a friend in my old ward to pick it up and mail it to me.  She was so sweet and did it without asking any questions!  Then at around 7-8 weeks I started spotting.  I was a little concerned.  I have had 2 miscarriages, pretty far along (14 and 10 weeks).  At the same time, I spotted with all 4 kids and was fine.  I got a blessing.  It said many things that left me wondering if I would have the baby or not, but the key phrase that stuck out to me was 'either way, know that the Lord has chosen it for your good'.  I felt peace from that, but not confident that I would carry this baby full term.  I continued spotting for 6 or more weeks.  I didn't know how to feel and everything had become so crazy in our lives with work and where to live that I didn't have room for emotion about any of it.  Becki came, she didn't say anything, so I figured I was pulling off being fat really well.  Then I got super sick.  My mom kept calling and worrying that I might have an ectopic pregnancy and needed medical help.  Knowing that I was too far along for an ectopic pregnancy, I assured her there was no chance of that, but I still didn't tell her I was pregnant.  She kept offering to come out.  I kept telling her no, it's just the flu.  That was the first week.  Then I went to the hospital and they checked out the baby and I saw the heart beat.  It was finally real to me that I was pregnant and I got excited.  They told me it was the flu, but several days later I knew it was not.  Something was really wrong with me and I got really scared.  I felt like I had no way to get help.  I sat soaking the bath one day to try and relieve my aching body, thinking about everything and worrying about getting better.  It occurred to me that I might need to lose the baby to get better.  It didn't seem like my body could handle both jobs.  I cried a lot and then I remembered the words of my blessing and felt peace.  I told Ben that I didn't want to lose the baby, but I had finally given up my will and would accept whatever came.  Luckily, I never had to do that.  Eventually, it was decided that my mom would come.  I didn't want her to and I did at the same time.  I was afraid I would get better right when she got here and waste her time.  I was also bummed that she would find out I was pregnant and ruin my plan, but I was really sick and I wanted her comfort too.  By the time she got here I had lost 14lbs (not eating, plus puking and diarrhea for 2 weeks straight will to that), which made my stomach bump all the more obvious.  I couldn't believe it, she didn't say a word.  It wasn't until several hours after she arrived, when the kids were in bed, that she rubbed my tummy and said, "Honey, I am just so worried about you.  I've never seen your stomach so distended!".  I could help it!  I snorted and then laughed!  Her eyes got wide and she said, "You little jerk, your pregnant!".  Then she turned to Ben and said, "Did you know about this?".  Ben looked at her her like, 'Duh!' and she said, "You knew!  You knew and you didn't tell me!"  It was hilarious!  She immediately 'made' (Did you know that when you are sick, you feel like a little kid again and your mom can tell you what to do and make you do things?) me call Kelly and tell him.  Then when she was talking to my grandma, my grandma asked if I was pregnant.  My mom told her she 'wasn't privileged to give out that information', which is basically like saying yes.  My Grandma claims she already knew when I came to say goodbye before moving because she has ESP.  I love that woman!  Grandma called and told Sarah.  Sarah called and told me that Grandma told her I was pregnant.  So I told Becki, who said she already knew from when she was here, and Julia.  My mom told the Kurachi's while she was here and I was REALLY mad about that.  They said they already suspected, but didn't want to say anything until they knew for sure.  I put Ben in charge of telling his family while he was in AZ.  Danny had already been asking Ben for weeks if that was why I was sick and Ben kept telling him no because it wasn't why I was sick, but Danny still really thought that I was.  Anyhow, all that combined with the fact that we wouldn't be able to go visit after Christmas ruined my surprising the family and seeing the looks on their faces, but I did make it to about 16-18 weeks (can't remember exactly) before telling.  At that point, Ben said I should just tell everyone but I wouldn't.  I figured that if I couldn't surprise our families then we could at least surprise our friends.  It was fun!  It really helped the pregnancy go by faster.  We'll see how fast the next 5 weeks go...

the plan

So a lot of people have asked how I could keep the pregnancy a secret for so long and why.  Hopefully this explains it. 

When I got pregnant with Evan, I was so tired of people telling me it seemed like I had been pregnant forever.  Of course it had!  I had just had three kids in less than three years.  I had and still have been pregnant for forever.  At least, that's how I feel!  I decided I wouldn't tell people when I was pregnant with Evan.  I figured that eventually it would be obvious and my protrusion would tell for me.  It became kind of a game to see how long I could wait, because I start showing on the day I conceive.  I am cursed so that when it's my time of month, I swell up and can't fit my regular clothes.  Once a non-pregnant month, I look about 3 months pregnant (for a normal girl who gets a bump) and then a week later it's gone.  So when I get pregnant, I automatically look about three months pregnant and then I don't grow again until the 2nd trimester.  I've heard a uterus described as a balloon.  The more times it's been blown up, the easier it is to blow up the next time.  Well, that's me!  Another weird thing about my body is that I lose all the baby weight within a week or two of having the baby and then about 2 months later, while nursing, I start to gain weight.  I don't know what happens after that because before I stop nursing, I am always pregnant.  I'd like to hope that I will loose that weight again.  Maybe we'll see this time?  Anyhow, I got pregnant with Evan and I was still a little chubby from nursing Ellie, so I tried to pull off just being overweight.  It wasn't easy because I get a well defined bump.  I started wearing baggy clothes and using my Bella Band to suck things in.  Also, I was super sick and that is hard to hide.  My mom figured it out.  I was pretty sure Sarah knew.  She never said anything, but she'd make comments about my clothes or lift up the hem of my shirt to see the non-existent waist band.  She'd raise her eyebrows and say nothing.  I set a goal to make it to the day of Bowles Family pictures for Ben's side to figure it out.  That was right at the beginning of the second trimester.  When it came time to pick an outfit nothing fit.  I didn't want to squeeze into anything and just look fat, so I opted to wear a maternity dress.  When we walked up, everyone was looking at me and then looking at each other like, 'Uh, did I not get the memo?  Did you know?'.  Before anyone could ask the photographer who is Ben's 2nd cousin, Leah Davis, said, "Wow!  You have three kids now!  Oh and one on the way!"  We nodded yes and she congratulated us.  You should have seen the looks on faces!  Ben spoke up and said, "Just so you know, we are expecting another baby."  Poor Leah felt terrible, like she gave it away, but I thought it was perfect!  I thought everyone would laugh, but they were too shocked.  Instead, they kept asking each other if the other person had known. Yes, I was huge already! Look how little they were!

I never told my sister, Becki, who lives in Belize.  When I talked to her on the web-cam I would sit so she couldn't tell.  I waited until she came to visit and surprised her (around 5 months along).  It was great fun!  I thought I had waited such a long time to tell people and was pretty pleased with myself for keeping it a secret for so long.  Then on Christmas morning I got an email from my friend, Lexie, who lives in NJ.  It said to check her blog.  When I did there was a picture of her 6 and a half months pregnant, just announcing!  She had posted pictures of herself all along, hiding behind pumpkins, kids, balls, etc.  I was in awe!!  She way out did me and even got mad at me for not telling her earlier than I did, when she was pregnant and didn't tell me!  Stinker!!  Anyhow, I did the math and figured out that if we got pregnant around our normal time, that it would be right before or right as we were moving to Texas and that I was going to do the same thing.  Of course, I got baby hungry much earlier and was ready to give up the whole plan just to have a baby.  The Lord had other plans for us and kept telling me no, it's not time.  So, I waited.  It just so happened that when we finally decided to get pregnant, got pregnant, and took the test, I had just moved to TX two weeks earlier.  I swore Ben to secrecy.  He wanted me to make it clear that it was all on me, in case people were mad.  At the time, before we had all of our employment troubles, we figured we would go visit family after Christmas.  My plan was to walk in 6 or 7 months pregnant and say, 'Surprise!'.  I got giddy just thinking about everyone's shock and laughter and wanted to video tape the whole thing.  Ben didn't think anyone would laugh, but I was sure that our families all have a great sense of humor and would get a kick out of it.  But alas, my plan was not to be...

pregnant ellie

Sometimes when Ellie is leaning on me or cuddling, the baby kicks her.  One time I pointed it out to her and she looked a little disturbed.  I asked her if she wanted to put her arm there again and feel the baby kick and she made a face and said no.  She has gotten over it now.  All the kids try to get the baby to kick (well maybe Evan doesn't) and when it doesn't I tell them the baby is sleeping.  Evelyn still likes to talk about when she is a momma.  Ellie will join in sometimes and talk about the baby in her tummy.  The funniest thing she has said is that the baby in her tummy is throwing up.  I don't know where she comes up with this stuff, but she is pretty funny!

pete was right

On June 30th of last year, Ben flew home from Texas to move us.  When our ward and some family members were helping us pack up the moving van, I had the following conversation with my brother in law, Peter or Pete.  It may not be exact, but it went something like this:

Pete:  So when is the next baby coming?

Me: I don't know.  I've actually been baby hungry since October.  I'd love to have another baby, but you do know my husband has been out of town for the last four weeks, so...

Pete:  True, but he has been home for what (looks at watch and grins slyly), 4 hours now?

Me:  (trying to look unembarrassed, since I didn't know some of the men listening in all that well and trying to look innocent, with eyes wide)  Hmmm...that's true. (nodding slowly)
Well, Pete was right!  If you calculate the due date correctly, with a 32 day cycle that I was on, the estimated date of conception was June 30th.  The baby, with unknown gender, is due on March 23rd (about 8 weeks away).  Surprise!

after surgery

Another post I found unpublished from June.

After my surgery, I felt O.K. and probably did too much because the drugs hadn't warn off.  The weird part was my legs and knees were throbbing.  I wasn't expecting that.  Anyhow, Ben told me to go to bed while he got the kids.  I couldn't.  I just needed to see them.  They were all asleep, except Ellie, by the time he got home.  He had told them I would be asleep and they would have to wait to see me til the next day.  When he walked in with Ellie she gasped and said, "Ewe wake mom!  Ewe not sleeping!"  She came and sat by me and said, "I yove ewe mom (I love you mom)!  Ewe yuk butful (you look beautiful)!", while she held my cheeks so softly.  It melted my heart!

The doctor's orders said I had to be on bed rest for 3-5 days and nothing strenuous till after the follow-up appointment.  I have to admit, I felt pretty grateful Ben was laid off that week.  He was absolutely insistent that I stayed in bed.  People volunteered to bring us yummy meals.  In between, Ben cooked whatever I requested.  He woulds send up the kids with water bottle refills or any other misc requests.  I had his laptop and spent too much time making wish lists after researching products.  He left facebook open downstairs, so I could instant message him my requests and remind him to do things.  Seriously, Ben was amazing!  I have never been so pampered before in my life!  I wasn't even in much pain, my body was just tired, a little sore, and flushing stuff.  My kidney had been plugged up for six weeks!  Before the surgery I was constantly exhausted!  I couldn't get enough sleep.  I was told this was because my kidney wasn't flushing properly.  I got plenty of rest which greatly increased my recovery to feeling good.  A week after the surgery, I was amazed how much energy I had and how cheerful I felt! 

I am so grateful to Ben and all the people who brought meals!  I am also grateful to my mom for watching the kids while I had surgery, helping me put kids to bed while Ben was at school, and going with me to the doctor to have the stint (that was going from my kidney to my bladder, to prevent the ureter from collapsing) removed.  I was really scared for that part, but it wasn't too bad! Terrible picture!  Evelyn insisted on documenting the occasion,

and making sure she got all the really important stuff,  like feet and shells!

anesthesia

I found this post that I never published from back in June, so I am publishing it now.

In the past when I have had surgery, the doctor has talked to me as I go under the anesthesia.  I wake up remembering that they were saying something, but I have no clue what.  I also go under fast, like before I can finish scooting over to the surgery table.  When I had my surgery in April, the doctor asked me a question as they medicated me.  I remember starting to answer as I went under.  I woke up and thought maybe I dreamed all of the things I remembered saying, or that maybe I had logged what I thought to say but couldn't and my brain clung to those things.  I felt like I had been thinking about the subject for a long time.  I was determined not to forget, so I kept running it over as over in my head until I woke up all the way.  At the first chance, I asked the nurse if I had talked in my sleep.  She replied no.  I asked if I talked about my kids.  She said no, but the doctor had asked me as I was going under what my kids names were.  She told me I had said "Evelyn, but we call her Evies or Eves.  Ethan.  Eleanor, but we call her Ellie, and Evan."  They must have made a comment about all the E's, because I explained about the situation that we had the two girl names and than Ethan was the only boy name we could agree on, so we knew we'd have to stick with E's.  I remember mentioning that I wanted at least one more baby, a girl, to name Edith.  I told them my husband doesn't like Edith.  He likes Elise or Elaine.  It was so important to me that I talked about Edith.  She repeated all this to me with Ben there.  As I was sitting there, I felt like for some reason that should mean something to him, prove to him that we should have a girl named Edith because I went to all the effort of saying that even though my body felt like it should go unconscious.  It didn't.  He still hates the name.  Why am I writing all this?  I'm not sure.  I think because I really felt something that day and I don't want to forget or the drugs made me think I felt something that day.  I guess that is what I get for procrastinating writing down the details.  I guess we'll see what happens!

olivia

I bought this book for Evelyn about 3-4 years ago.  Evelyn never related with it and she rarely read it.  I didn't really relate with the little girl in it either.  When my mom was in town, we got a bookshelf for the kid's books and finally unpacked them.  Ellie found this book and asked grandma to read it to her.  My mom kept saying, "Hmm this reminds me of someone.  Who could it be?", as she read the book.  It is seriously Ellie!  It makes me laugh when I read it now because I feel like someone knew Ellie and then wrote a book about her!

jeep

Earlier in the fall, we were garage sale shopping for several things we needed.  We came upon a garage sale that had a kids jeep.  Ethan was so excited.  He said, "I always wanted a jeef!"  Ben and I laughed at that one a lot.  He's been in the motorized jeeps before, but never been able to drive.  The weather was great last Saturday, so we took the kids out front to skate and ride bikes.  The little girl next door had a princess car and she let the kids have turns.  Evelyn drove pretty well. Ethan was not such a great driver.  He kept staring down at the steering wheel and not looking where he was going.  Look at Evan holding on with an anxious face!  We stuck him in the car because it kept him from running away constantly.  Ethan ran over my foot and crashed into Ben's car.  After driving it for a few minutes, he was done because it intimidated him.      I just realized this looks like a repeat from Christmas.  Evan is in his jammies and Ethan is wearing the same sweater.  We have been keeping Evan in jammies all day to prevent him from taking off his diaper.  Well, check driving a jeef off Ethan's wish list!

evelyn's hair

Evelyn had no hair when she was born.  When Ethan was born he had more hair than her and she was 17 months old.  When Evelyn finally got hair, it was thin and scraggly.  Right as it was starting to thicken up, she cut it off.  It actually turned out pretty cute, after I fixed it, and I had been thinking about cutting it short anyway.  For a long time, she asked if I would shave it like Ethan's.  No.  No.  Finally, she quit cutting little pieces here and there and I was getting excited that I wouldn't keep having to look at that one little piece that was bugging me.  A few months ago, I started noticing that she had a short piece of hair up front.  I asked about it and she swore she never cut it.  It turns out that she chewed it off and it keeps getting shorter.  Also, a few months ago, I found a handful of hair in her room.  She had been pulling hair out when she was bored.  I started finding little balls of hair here and there.  I started noticing when I blow dry her hair on Sundays, that the front part of her hair around her face is getting thinner and thinner.  So, not only is she pulling out her hair but she's doing it all in the same area.  The hair around her face has gotten pretty sparse.  Maybe I am the only one who notices it, but it is very thin.  It really upsets me.  It makes me feel anxious and my stomach churns.  She could care less.  She's not doing it to upset anyone, just for something to do before she falls asleep.  She has started asking to grow her hair out and be able to have pony tails, pig tails, braids and more.  I keep telling her she has to stop pulling her hair first.  In fact it is so bad, I'm going to have to cut it as short as I can with out changing the style.  I know it bothers me because I can't control it, but it's kind of a hair dressers worst nightmare to get a kid who doesn't have any respect for hair.  Oh well!  I guess the laugh is on me!